My very fit friend Shawna text me yesterday and invited me to go work out with our other friend Nicole and her group. Nicole is a personal trainer/fitness guru !! She has a group of ladies over every Friday for an intense group workout. In a momentary lapse of judgement - one stupid, ridiculous, idiotic word I text Shawna back "sure". That was mistake 1 ... I will list mistakes numerically so you can follow, because they are quiet numerous.
I wake to the sound of glorious rain...yank the covers over my head and snuggle further into my pillow.
Mistake 2 - I got out of bed to get ready for the workout -
Mistake 3 - Ate a piece of toast with some peanut butter and honey on it - didn't seem like a mistake at the time, but you'll see...I text Shawna to make sure we were still working out because of the rain - Shawna says "heck yeah the rain should be out of here by 9"
Mistake 4, believing Nashville weather-people ... they are NEVER right.
As I am driving to Clarksville in the mini monsoon I think 'maybe it will be called off and Shawna and I can just go grab some coffee' yummm...doesn't that sound nice :)
We get to Nicole's house/gym and there are 14 ladies there to work out. All varying degrees of sizes, shapes, and athletic ability. I'm feeling OK right now ... that feeling would not last !!
As Nicole begins to demonstrate what we will be doing today I kept looking around wondering if everyone else thought she was insane... all the other women appeared calm so I thought ... hahaha we are getting punked - someone would jump out and say hahahaha just kidding. But no one ever came - Ashton Kutcher was no where to be found and I began to get worried.
She describes the first thing we will be doing .. HA ... She says in a very confident voice, "we will be running 400 meters holding the 25 lb weigh plate over our head - arms straight up ... WHOOOOOA sista - WHATCHU TALKIN BOUT WILLIS - Clearly Nicole had been eating too much Flax Seed and it had gone to her brain - because ... WHAT ?? Again, no one seemed to be thinking that she was stark raving mad - BUT ME... Clearly I'm the only one in the whole place that had NOT takin leave of their senses. I mean - NOBODY seemed shocked by this. I'm going to run in the rain - holding a metal 25lb plate over my head - and RUN - WHY would anybody do this? sigh ... Needless to say Mistake ... what number am I on ... Mistake 5 was when I grabbed the weight and headed out the door into the rain. I got about 100 feet down the road and the weight clunked on my head, I dropped down to a walk cradling the weight to my bosom, picked back up to a jog, shoe came untied, and I can no longer see the girl I left the building with - she was dusting me. I finish the 1/4 mile, now my poor team is way behind... Did I mention we were all broken up into teams - my poor team - those poor girls... We never made up for my dismal time on the run. That put us behind for the rest of the workout. Anyhoo...OUCH !! I had to move my arm, I won't make that mistake again. Good grief. OK, this is getting way too long for me to go into every torturous activity Nicole dreamed up for us, but after the third one I was outside in the rain puking in her bushes. After the 5 torture test, puking in bushes continued - it was really the one thing I excelled at that morning.
I called my sister when Shawna and I were leaving and told her I just got finished working out and she says " oh I bet you feel good" what is she MAD - clearly she didn't realize what I had just went through I said "NO I don't feel good !! I feel cold, clammy, soaked to the bone, and puked on my shirt" she said "well you'll feel better later" FYI ... I won't feel better for like a week - then I need to deal with the humiliation of sucking so badly... No ... I really won't feel better... Everything is crying out in pain... and a Snickers Bar would be really really good right now.
So the next time I see a woman with a body of steel, instead of envying her I will have to high five her because the work they do to get that body is tremendous. They are athletes in every sense of the word.
So have I inspired you - go get on the treadmill or something - you'll feel good !! Really you will !!
I think Nicole needs to start a slower group! I do some light work outs but there is no way anyone with no experience can just jump right into it. I would have chickend out and said "Thanks but no thanks" kudos to you for trying. Next time its raining and that beds all warm -- snuggle in and enjoy it! :D
ReplyDeleteI am cracking up!!! I was totally shocked inside....I just kept my poker face on!!! Trying is all she asks....and you rocked it!
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