The New Dog ~ Gurrrr

What a beautiful morning ~
I wake up, strrrretch, say good-morning to the Lord, do a little jig and start my day.

Here on the homestead, the animals eat first. Because Miss Kiddies babies are too small to go out into the big pasture, I must bring MK branches and other types of forage because, well because GOATS DON'T Eat Everything.  It's a Myth.  Like sitting too close to the TV will give you cross eyes. Total myth - By the way, what a crock - sitting too close to the TV will make your eyes cross; How many of you parents are still feeding that line to YOUR unsuspecting children >-/ Stop it ... Any hoo, MY goats are picky eaters. They are not happy with the hay I purchased for them, so they will sulk, YES sulk until I go cut them some tree limbs. And heaven forbid I bring them the same variety of tree limbs. Think of it as a little goat buffet, they want to be able to go down the fence line eating a myriad of items. SO, they get their morning grain, hay and buffet. Then the pups are fed - then and only then am I able to eat. Let me back up so you can appreciate the full value of this event.

Once upon a time not so long ago I let some people in need of unloading a dog bring by their 1.5 yo German Shepherd/St.Bernard mix over for a play date with Aramis. I told them if the dog is aggressive towards the goats, or Aramis didn't like him I would not be able to keep him. So the dog springs from the car and comes running over to me. THEN, he jumps on me. Standing on his hind legs he is taller than I am.  I immediately push him off me and they say, 'yeah, he really hasn't been trained much'. So I ask, 'by not much, what exactly do you mean. I mean he knows how to sit, right?'  They both kind of shook their heads no- not really.
So after him visiting for a while I told the people, I will keep him for the weekend and see how he does. Be prepared to come get him on Monday if its not working out. He seemed kind of too interested in the goats so I was a bit concerned at that point. They agreed and left the beast in my care.  Within an hour the dog was trying to jump the 5' goat fence to get at my goats.  I emailed the couple the VERY NEXT DAY and told them, this is not going to work he is charging at my goats, trying to scale the fence, etc... No response. I called them on Monday, the phone number had been changed. I emailed again telling them to come get their dog... NO RESPONSE ... SUCKA !!  That is the grizzley tale of how JoJo aka Cujo came to live with us.  Now onto my breakfast drama, again ... here is some background information for you.  STOP rolling your eyes at me, I am trying to give you all the details ~ I told you to only read this blog if you had NOTHING better to do, now sit back, be quiet and read ... JOYFULLY... I'm not feeling the joy right now!!   so anyway ...

I am so excited because yesterday I got to shop at ... PUBLIX !!  For those of you that take for granted Publix, don't; It was so awesome to have such a variety of great stuff to choose from. Dan and I are strolling through the expensive cheese section, when all of a sudden I let out a little yelp of excitement. Dan thought I spotted another buy one get one free deal - but it was even BETTER than that. CUBAN BREAD ~ I snatched up the loaf and cradled it lovingly in my arms. I haven't seen Cuban bread ANYWHERE in Tennessee. For some reason Dan kept walking past me as if he didn't know me; like that was going to deter my excitement.  I just yelled across a couple produce sections "Dan, look !!! Cuban bread !!"
He kept walking ... whatever !!  I know he was just as excited about it as I was, he just hides it better.  He's Cuban for gosh sakes, he should be more excited to see a part of his heritage...right ?? 

So, back to ...it's time for me to eat.

I cut a portion of the coveted Cuban bread and decide I want to make a breakfast Cuban just like I got back in Florida.  So I cracked a couple eggs into the skillet, warmed the bread, and melted a small piece of provolone cheese on it. I then removed my perfectly cooked eggs from pan and slid them onto my now pressed, hot, cheesy bread. I added a piece of turkey, and VOILA ~ a masterpiece !!  I grabbed some orange juice and headed into the family room to watch the morning news whilst enjoying my bounty. I set my samey on the arm of the chair, turned around and set my OJ on the coffee table, remove my lap-top from my chair and turn back just in time to catch JoJo snatch my creation off the plate. GASP-SHRIEK-REACT

Now at the ripe old age of 40 something, I have come to believe that I just don't move as fast as I used to...that is, until my Breakfast Cuban hits the floor. The 5 second rule is totally in play - heck I'd do 10 or 20 seconds for this sandwich even with the potential of dog drool.  JoJo hears my scream and drops the sandwich only managing to get a bit out of it. I picked my sandwich up as one would if they found a wounded bird and began "dusting" it off ~ once most of the dog hair was removed I set the sandwich down and turned my attention to the wretched BEAST. I began yelling at him, all the usual stuff "BAD DOG-BAD DOG-NO-NO-NO"and fortunately for him the only thing within my grasp was an old limp slipper. So he got yelled at and spanked with a slipper for that bite. I bet he thinks it was worth it!!  Lets hope he got the message. I don't like spanking my dogs, but he has needed a little more 'encouragement' to behave. Sigh... I sat down, pulled the lever to extract the foot rest and began to enjoy my breakfast. IT WAS SO GOOD ~

Now for those of you smugly sitting there saying 'poor Jojo' ~ BITE ME !!  You too probably have ill behaved dog that needs a good thrashing with a slipper. NONE of my other dogs would have dared removed MY FOOD, from MY PLATE. They are much too schooled for that.

So this begins my day ... I still know it will be a good one !! 

Blessings to you all !!